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"Short timers to the house not prepared"

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posted on | Fri, November 11th 2016

September 9, 2016
I hope all is well with you all out there in the free world. I’m writing you from Solano State Prison. I mentioned to you that I’m now in a level 3 prison and as such I’m afforded more freedom than I have had in the 25 + years I have been incarcerated. I’ve also come to the realization that this is the first time I’ve been around people who are short to the house. You see, I’ve only been around lifers or those who have so much time that they have come to the realization that they will never be released. I also see how unprepared people are to leave these places to the free world.
The fact is lifers take things more seriously. We know that these

places are where we will most likely be forever. We know that certain things such as drugs (heroin, meth, cocaine) are prohibited to use. We (Africans) don’t or didn’t allow our people to use them. Now I realize these young men are using these things as if they are acceptable and allowed. You see, it was always up to us to police our selves to keep the environment intact for purposes of growth. It just wasn’t allowed and communicated as such. Now it’s so perceived as being acceptable and the masses are just allowing it. The worst part is these young men are going to be in the streets soon with no direction and there additions.
There’s another aspect and that’s that people such as myself and others that know this conduct is not allowed and can not get involved for the simple fact that we are one lying confidential informant away from being placed back into the SHU! Our hands are tied period! So there are a lot of good things here as far as being able to be out of the cell but there are other things that are so much worst.
I went to Jumah services today and the message the Imam gave today went straight to my heart. I have been confronted with a situation that made me feel a form of aggression. The fact is I’ve been feeling this aggression for years due to being in here for a crime I didn’t do! With the existence of this aggression that has become a part of who I am other forms of aggression become very prevalent and compounded in me when I’m confronted with certain situations. The thing I have come to realize is there is such thing as justified aggression. We are not supposed to accept forms of oppression as just being the way it is. We are not supposed to become numb to things that are rooted in falsehood. These situations in whatever for they present themselves are suppose to ignite aggression within us! Now how we respond to this aggression is another thing but the aggression is normal and when it’s not present under certain conditions is abnormal. I have a right to be angry but I don’t have the right to misdirect my anger. The brother mentioned how a lot of people in society have responded to the brother protesting by not standing up doing the national anthem. Now let’s look at the response that is given to the groups such as the Black lives matter or other organizations who protest with noise in an attempt to be heard. Society says they need to not respond that way to get there message across but here is a brother who is a quiet as can be by just kneeling and they criticized him. The message that one can get from the responses of society is to just shut up and accept it. How can one voice his objections if he can not march to the herd or just kneel to be heard? This website is my way of being heard and my aggression is justified!!
I read all the lies that have been placed out there in the media. I know what the truth is and a lot of that is a lie that’s accepted as truth. It pisses me off that I could even be seen as being capable of doing some of the things they have stated I have done but I’ll rather have a short life in these terrible conditions and an afterlife in Bliss then a short life in comfort and an afterlife in Hell. So don’t feel bad for me but feel bad for them!
As I stated the Imam spoke to my soul today and I’ll sleep well tonight God willing! I’ll embrace this aggression I have and I’ll keep my faith and continue to try to please Allah (God) and only him because it’s only through pleasing him that I’m the best in this life and rewarded with the best in the Afterlife!

Please share your thoughts with me.

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